“Time, curious time
Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs
Were there clues I didn't see?
And isn't it just so pretty to think
All along there was some
Invisible string
Tying you to me?”
- Taylor Swift
“Invisible String Theory” initially popularized by Taylor Swift’s song, Invisible String, has transformed from the domain of Swifties to the TikTok spotlight. Millions of posts with the hashtag #InvisibleStringTheory depict stories of people who crossed paths repeatedly in unexpected ways until the universe deemed it their time to properly meet. While this is most often in reference to love stories it is not exclusively serendipitous tales of romance, but also encompasses close friendships and meeting mentors.
Although Taylor Swift mainstreamed the invisible string theory, it conceptually dates back to Chinese Folklore (Folklore ironically being the name of one of Taylor’s Albums) called The Red Thread of Fate, a tale about red string tied around soulmates who eventually become lovers. Distance, space, and time, cannot remove the string, a predetermined bond that can survive anything, an enduring spiritual connection. There is also some depiction of the invisible string theory within Greek mythology. Aristophanes explains how Zeus split two headed humans in half who are then condemned to be searching for their soulmate for eternity.
While compelling psychological reasons explain the rise of invisible string theory- it is nonsense. Connecting with people we oft cross paths with is more likely to happen for pragmatic reasons. If we recognize someone because we used to go to elementary school with them, and they also go to our gym, we are more likely to initiate a conversation. Shared experiences are easy conversations starters, and it is more probabilistically likely there will be random opportunities for chat the more we see someone. To further illustrate, if I grew up in the same town as someone and we emigrate to the same country, it is more likely that we will be in a shared field of work attuned to our previous regional economy, or attend the same cultural events. Repeated interactions make having initial conversations which form of the basis of future relationships more likely.
In addition to repeated interactions facilitating conversation, it also enables a more profound connection. Emotional intimacy is assisted by shared experiences. A feeling of closeness through understanding another person’s trauma’s, or being able to share in the joy and nostalgia of past memories together. A similar upbringing also increases the probability of having compatible paradigms and world-views, reducing friction points which often occur in relationships such as religious and value based differences.
So if eventually connecting with people we formerly crossed passed with is rational, why are we so keen to believe invisible string theory? Firstly, it often emulates the fairy tale narratives and religious myths we are socialized to believe in childhood. That the universe has a grand plan for us to meet our soulmate, and life before them is merely fate’s path. Moreover, believing in invisible string theory can help reduce relationship anxiety and provide comfort. If the person we are currently with was meant to be “the one” all along, we are less prone to believing that they will leave or abandon us because it was written in the stars. Additionally, if we haven’t found the one yet, but believe that we are secretly tied to our future soulmate, it can decrease the fear of dying alone and never finding your person. So regardless of relationship status, invisible string theory can help can decrease anxieties.
However, believing in a destined soulmate may be a double edged sword. What if the things don’t work out with the person we thought the universe tied us too? The illusion of fate may come crashing down. While one can try and convince themselves that they got it wrong- that they were always strung to someone else, it will often fail. When you’ve hyper focused on all the signs that they were the one, it can be hard to convince oneself that the theory has been misapplied rather than is wrong altogether. This can heighten stress- maybe you blew the chance with your one soul mate, maybe love is a lie and soul mates don’t exist, which can make breakups (platonically or romantically) more difficult when an entire conception of love must be reconfigured. Additionally, if we are locked into believing that our true soul mate is someone we have repeatedly crossed paths with, we may be less open to embracing spontaneous connections when we lack shared history, and instead become hyper-fixated on fostering a broken connection with an unrequited love. So while believing in invisible string theory is a tempting comfort, unravelling it may be for the best.